Going Steady Thomas M Parsons

9. Going Steady

I was baptized at Lincoln Park's First Baptist Church on Sunday, May 22, and two weeks later, on June 5, 1960, I turned 19. And for some reason, I was eager to find the woman the Lord would have me marry. Perhaps I was a little too eager.

Bob was not a graduate of LPHS. He lived in nearby Allen Park and had graduated from our rival school, APHS. But he and his mom were members of First Baptist, as was his steady girlfriend, Beth, who was a student at LPHS. Bob and I became good friends, and since he was always with Beth (after all, they were planning to be married some day), whenever I was with Bob, Beth was there, too. Beth had a friend, also a student at LPHS, and a member of FBC, Janet. Jan had expressed an interest in the new Baptist in town to her friend, and Bob and Beth had helped to get the two together. In the summer of 1960, for the first time, I was going steady with a girl.

She was a pretty girl, too. Blonde. Blue eyes. Nice figure. Pleasant personality. She laughed at my jokes, or my attempts to tell jokes. She was two years younger than I. Her parents were also members at First Baptist. But the most wonderful thing about her was that she was interested in spending time getting to know me better. Bob and Beth and Jan and I spent a lot of time together that summer. One day we planned to go on the Boblo boat.

I wrote about the Boblo boat in my book Windsor’s Child. Actually, the Boblo boat was two boats, the Columbia and the Ste. Claire, but everyone referred to either boat as simply the Boblo boat. It (or they) had a constant presence on the Detroit River for many years, taking passengers as it did from both the American and Canadian sides of the river for a boat ride to Boblo Island where there was an amusement park. That was our plan.

But the island was closed for repairs or something, so we decided instead to go to another Detroit area amusement park. We spent the afternoon whirling and twirling and being jerked about and stuffing ourselves with candy and popcorn and pop. And then we got on a device that really whirled us around, creating tremendous centrifugal force. Jan was sitting next to me, and I was on the outside. As we whirled faster and faster, her body was pressed closer and closer to mine. Nice, except that I was being pressed between Jan and the side of the machine, and I was beginning to remember a day at the Detroit Institute of Arts when I created a new art work on the floor. Then the machine stopped whirling, and I was not embarrassed in front of — or on — Jan.

It was nice being with a couple who were very comfortable with their relationship. It helped Jan and me to get over the awkward stage of our relationship a little faster than we might have had we been on our own. It was also nice that Jan’s parents seemed to approve of our growing relationship. The four of us were seen everywhere together. In church, in restaurants, in miniature golf courses, or walking along the Detroit River where my home town lay just beyond the restless waters. I remember one warm, summer night we sat on a bench in Wyandotte and watched the lights of LaSalle, Ontario, a Windsor suburb, across the water. We talked quietly and held hands and listened to the gentle sound of the water slapping against the concrete wall built to contain it. The river had successfully been contained for many decades. But I felt nothing could contain the feelings I was feeling for Jan. I was certain I had found the one with whom the Lord would have me share my life.

And why not? Jan was the perfect girl for me. She was blonde, blue-eyed, pretty and pleasant to be with. She was intelligent; after all, she was with me. She loved the Lord and took her relationship with Him seriously. And she seemed to like being with me.

The two Boblo boats ceased operations in the early 1990's, removing a strong symbol of the time in which many of us in this story grew up. Both boats are in serious stages of detoriation, but the Ste. Clair has been purchased by an Ohio couple who are in the expensive process of restoring it. They hope to put it back in service on Lake Erie soon.
You can read about First Baptist Church in Church of My Youth.

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It was a wonderful summer. And it was all too short. Soon it was past; I started my second year at Wayne State University, and Jan returned to Lincoln Park High School with Beth. Bob went to college in another state.

Jan and I continued to date, and Beth talked to Bob on the phone and wrote him letters. And I was growing more and more interested in the pretty blonde girl who was by my side so much of that now ended summer, the girl I was certain I was going to throw up on in that amusement park ride.

Winter is often cold and icy in Detroit. It was especially so that year of 1960. The cold waters of the river still churned restlessly, but no one wanted to sit on a bench and listen to their ceaseless sounds. The wind that blew off the river was too cold, too biting, too bitter to allow for that. The summer warmth had gradually cooled into winter’s cold. Christmas break was upon us, and Bob returned from college to spend Christmas at home.

I had felt for some time that Jan’s feelings for me were cooling off, even though my feelings for her were growing. But when Bob and Beth and Jan and I went to downtown Detroit to do some Christmas shopping together, I knew the end of our relationship was near. Something was just not the same. She did not seem to want to sit as close to me in the car as she had before. She did not seem to want to hold hands with me. The expressions of our feelings for each other had always been well within the boundaries Christian young people should observe. But we had enjoyed holding hands and sitting close in the car. But not that Christmas.

We did exchange Christmas presents. She got me a red tie. I don’t remember what I got her. I think it was nicer than a red tie, though. I am certain it was.

On New Year’s Eve, the church had its annual Watchnight Service. We gathered around nine in the evening for a time of fellowship, then at eleven we went to the auditorium to have a service which included testimonies. I gave a testimony. I said that it would be great if the Lord came back before 1961 dawned. “It would solve a lot of problems,” I said. Not exactly a proper motivation for wanting the Lord to return.

But the Lord did not come back then, and 1961 did come, and Jan said those words guys hate to hear. “I think we should stop seeing each other for a while,” she said, “and see what happens.”

It was not my wish to do this, but I had no choice. If we stopped seeing each other for awhile, I knew we would stop seeing each other for good. And soon, as the new year began its ever constant march forward, the relationship of Tom and Jan was left behind. Once again I would have to start over in seeking a woman to be my life mate. I didn't know it would be seven long years before the girl of my dreams would come into my life to stay.

But I was not the only one who was to lose in a relationship. Even seemingly more solid relationships among young people may not last. Even a couple who had been together since their early high school days, and who were seriously planning marriage some day may experience the pain of separation and break up. Several months after Jan broke the relationship with me, Bob broke up with Beth. His interests had turned to another young lady at college. Thus there were two broken hearts among the young adults of First Baptist Church of Lincoln Park, Michigan.

But winter’s cold would soon give in to the warming rays of the spring sun, as it always manages to do because God promised it would. All of God's promises eventually become realities.